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Consequential Strangers Offer Something a Soulmate Can’t
How to Get a Surprising and Healthful “Shot” of Connection from Someone You Barely Know
A Vaccine Against Loneliness
Every morning around nine, Rocky and I trot off to Le Champ de Mars, the large expanse of lawn, trees, paths, and bushes in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower. A tourist mecca in a city that, for over a year, has been without tourists, this verdant tribute to the Roman god of war is my “dog park.”
Rocky runs like a rabbit, and I schmooze with whomever shows up — often, twenty or more dogs and their caretakers. Our dogs run, we yell for them and at them. We’ll lament each canine idiosyncrasy, share trainers’ names, and laugh at how we, the humans, cluck and fret over our wayward charges.
Every day, my dog park buddies give me a dose of what I need to survive in a new city, during a pandemic, no less: consequential strangers — acquaintances who are not family or close friends.
I don’t really “know” them, only sketches of their biographies and their pets’ names. But they recognize Rocky and me, greet us, and seem happy to see us. Because of them, we belong.
We Need an Array of Relationships
Man/woman cannot live by self alone. And while it’s great to have a loving partner, family members and long-term friends to rely on, we also need a network of less-close acquaintances, particularly during a health crisis.
In 1991, Dr. Sheldon Cohen began a series of “viral challenge” experiments to assess how social networks impact disease. It all began with this intriguing classified ad:
ATTENTION! PITT/CMU COLD STUDY
Participants in this research study will be exposed to a common cold virus and isolated in a local hotel. Qualified volunteers (ages 18–55) may receive up to $800 upon completion of the study.
The 276 volunteers were given a battery of physical tests, as well as questionnaires that measured their “social integration” — how…
